This, perhaps, has made me more of an avid listener that is eager to appreciate what others have got to say rather than being a high decibel demagogue that would neither brook any resistance nor would tolerate any dissidence, however mild that may be.
Thus, the very essence of communication, which is nothing but a means of encouraging and stimulating others to share their views while attempting to skillfully shepherd them to veer around towards the speaker's perspectives, and the form it would finally acquire, is heavily influenced by the speaker's personal behavioral traits.
Listening as a Potent Tool for Effective Communication
We must have heard numerous times the exhortation, "Listen carefully, I don't want repeat myself," in some form or the other but in our excessive eagerness to make ourselves heard, we have ignored such requests and pleas and put an unceremonious end to many a potentially enriching communication. But, as communication experts tend to repeat over and over again, effective listening forms as integral part of an effective communication as persuasive demagogy. (Frisk, 2007) It is effective listening and not talking that can open many closed doors and build bridges between individuals that no amount of brilliant oratory can ever hope to achieve.
The hardest part of listening is, however, the ability to keep one's mouth shut as others hold forth and the capacity to resist from intervening even when one feels one has an important brownie point to score. It might also be mentioned that an avid listener that pays rapt attention to what the speaker is trying to convey is in reality flattering the speaker and, could you locate even a single human being that is not impressed by flattery even if it is mute and implied? Thus, if one listens carefully, one automatically gains access to the speaker and, once the initial defenses are breached, it becomes almost a cakewalk to strike an effective relationship with the speaker.
There is, however, one big hurdle in effective listening as it requires immense patience and training to retain focus even when the speaker belongs to the category that evokes ennui and drowsiness in even the most insomniac of listeners....
Active listening, one must understand, is much more than simply listening. It is a skill that requires putting aside personal feelings and concentrating on what is being said all the while assuring the speaker that the listener is genuinely trying to appreciate and understand what the speaker is trying to convey. This goes a very long way in solving high voltage conflict situations in a most amicable manner. Understanding other's viewpoint is the crux of conflict resolution and almost all psychologists tend to agree that:
Effective Communication = Active Listening + Understanding
Hence, while one listens, one should never for even once let go of eye contact with the speaker. If one tends to look elsewhere, it is an implicit act of disregard and it might spoil the ambience of mutual trust that is gradually being created through active listening. (Donahue, 1996)
The basic purpose of any communication is to build a bridge and that can be done by germinating genuine faith among parties involved in a communication process. In such scenarios, conflicts seldom blow out of proportion and if one is indeed faced with a potentially explosive situation, an intense bout of active listening as the aggrieved party takes out their grouse and ire can create miracles by effortlessly snuffing out the smoldering embers that only a short while ago threatened to burst into an uncontrollable inferno. (Madrigal & McClain, 2001)
References
Carbonell, M. (2005). Extreme personality makeover: How to develop a winning Christ-like personality to improve your effectiveness! . Blue Ridge, GA: Uniquely You Resources.
Donahue, M.C. (1996, December 1). How active is your listening? (communication technique; includes advice for managing anger) . Current Health 2, a Weekly Reader Publication, pp. 23-25.
Frisk, B. (2007, May 11). Effective Listening a Forgotten Art That Can Open Many Doors. Daily Herald, p. 12.
Madrigal, D., & McClain, B. (2001, August). The secret of active listening. Tactical Response, pp. 50-52.
Murphy, H.A., Hildebrandt, H.W., & Thomas, J.P. (1997). Effective Business Communications, Seventh Edition. McGraw-Hill.
